The Memorial Service for my aunt went off without a hitch. Sorta. The negatives I don’t want to get into but the positives was seeing a lot of family members I haven’t seen in awhile. Lots of cousins and great aunts and uncles. Lots of older people knew me. I get a kick out of hearing those soft, crackling voices say ‘there’s lil Jakki’. They can barely see but they know its me. Some people hate the smell of older people but the smell always takes me back to when I lived with my grandparents and how safe I felt. How much fun I had BEING a kid and how my kids have never felt that freedom I had growing up. That freedom to actually be a kid.

My 'big city' cousins always use to come and stay with us during the summer. They came during the rest of the year but it was always for maybe a night or two but during the summer it was usually for a week at a time. It was always fun. Lord we were so creative. There was a creek that ran behind my grandparents house at the very far edge of their property and every morning, EARLY we headed there to spend pretty much all day down there finding rocks, making ‘soup’ and mud pies, eating mulberry’s, peeing in the creek. You know, fun stuff until I stepped on a rusty nail and my grandmother told me I couldn’t hang out with my brother and my boy cousins.

Last weekend we all got to talking about the old days and I said how embarrassed I became when they used to come stay with us. When I reached,like the Hell Years of 13 and 14, I started to see my life how they must have seen my life. When we used to go stay in the city with them, Lord there was all sorts of stuff going on. I learned at an early age not to claim my family if asked if I knew them. My cousins seemed so cool and did grown up things. There was no crickets chirping or country sounds but there was yelling, cussing and horns honking at all hours of the night. You know, FUUUUUUUUUUN stuff. I was young, forgive me. Anywho…

My cousins looked at me like I had grown another head. Embarrassed??? They loved coming to stay with us…I listened to my cousins talk about my small home town and Lord I felt ashamed of being embarrassed. I seen it through their eyes and it almost seemed like a fairy tale compared to their lives then AND NOW. It was simple but comforting. I’ve always felt like I had a wonderful ‘growing up’ but never thought others seen it that way. Not much has changed and I think that is why my kids love to go stay with Nana and Papa, my parents. My dad doesn’t believe in kids sitting in all day, talking and texting on phones, or sleeping until noon. Sounds like hell doesn’t it but my kids still pack up and go at the drop of a hat.

We made plans for the 4th of July to get together and hang out over the 3 day weekend. I’m sure there will be drinking, eating, volleyball…hanging out. Talking and laughing. I’m sure crying. Sleeping. Relaxing. Enjoying life. And it will be back in my home town again. Just like a long time ago. And it will be a comfort to all of us all over again…