My home has been stricken with a well known complex affliction. Most people that have this affliction tend to have it when they or their children go to kindergarten or daycare for the first time. Sometimes it hits later in life when your child goes away to college (although this affliction is masked under the term 'empty-nest' syndrome). My afffliction of seperation anxiety is stricking double-fold in my home...
Lately I keep have anxiety about my oldest going away to college. Its not going to happen anytime soon but it will happen soon enough. My oldest is a junior and this, his junior year there has been a lot of preparation for the next couple of years. My ex and I have a couple of friends that are professor's at a couple of area college's and these friends have been happy to show both my boys around the idea of college life (and not just the fun parts). My ex's wife is also a professor at an out of state college and where ever she is at, the boys will be...set...in tuition.
So this college thing is pretty much a sure thing.
I know I dont say that the way it should be said but remember....
I'm having some strong bouts of seperation anxiety here
My life, like most parents, has centered on my boys. When they were born, a large part of ME stepped back into the shadows and was pretty content to stay there. I do not regret that at all. When I got divorced, that same large part of me was pretty happy to sit in the shadows and watch life pass me by and just schedule and pencil my way through it. Although NOTHING really had anything to do with MY LIFE. It was all about my boys.
I worry a lot about what I taught them. What values I instilled in them. What strength I gave them. Did I give them the right balance of book smarts as compared to street smarts. Are they sensitive. Is there such a thing as being to caring. Do they believe in God. Or are they just spiritual...Do they understand we have a home and not a house....Did I give them my ability to take something completly rational and turn it into something amazingly irrational......ehhhhhhhhh so much too worry about and not enough time to check it off my to-do list....
My question is...Have I, AM I,doing a good job???????
My other bout of seperation anxiety is between my dog and I....I can NOT get away from him. As I type this, he has curled his heavy 182 pound body against my leg, is snoring and....farting...up a storm and as soon as move, he propels his body up like a secret service agent guarding the President of the United States. He does this ALL DAY! I go to the bathroom, open the door, he's there. I go fold a load of laundry and turn around, he's there. I wake up in the middle of the night, he's there. I cook dinner and, well....I dont really think he's there for me but for some stray food to find its way onto the floor but in anycase...you get my drift.
People tell me to watch some dog whisperer show or write into it and see if he has any answers. At this time, I'm ready to try anything. He's 3 years old so he's beyond the puppy stage so in his case I'm ready for him to spread his wings and grow up.
