I work in an office. A highly paper trailed office. Which translate into BORING. So... we women have to get our entertainment where ever and whenever we can. Normally, if there is a cute, hot, handsome ( or really, if there is someone ODD) man that comes in, we usually spread the word and we all would figure out some way to take a peek.

Where I work we used to have to deal with the public quite a bit and we'd have to take 'walk-ins' which were people who walked into our office needing some assistance of some kind. Our schedule was set up to where on a given day you and a partner handled public phone calls and walkins during both 15 minute breaks and during the noon hour. The receptionist would call our personal line and let us know Joe Public needed assistance and we would go up to help them.

I was at work and my personal line rang and I immediately knew there was someone who needed assistance. I really wasnt in a good mood so I put on my happy face and walked up to the reception area. At the counter there stood the cutest young man ( by young I mean he was probably 20) so I walked up to him and asked him what I could help him with.

After chatting with him for a little bit, I learned he was a Marine (military men are my guilty pleasure as well) and that he was there to pick something up. I told him that I would go get what he needed, it would just take a second. I walked back to someone's cubicle and asked her if she had Joe Public's 'package' to which she said 'yes' and turned around to get it....Once she turned around I did what is customary of a bunch of old horny women who work in an office setting do, in order to past the day, we talk about the men who come into our office....

'I got a cute one up front!!!!' I said.

Without turning around she said 'really....a cutie??!!'

'Yep, CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUTE'....We both cackled and she turned around to hand me the package and I said 'yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...he's cute but young so I can teach him a thang or two...!!!! I laughed but she didnt say anything thing. She just had this blank expression on her face, which was very odd....but I didnt have time to wonder about it so I grabbed the package and turned around....

And ran right into the Marine's chest.

Yeah.

All he could do was stammer and stutter. Finally he choked out 'I didnt know rather to follow you or not' and all I could do is shove his paperwork into his hands and walk off....

'til this day...my co-workers have yet to live this one down.

I have a confession. This is so hard for me but I’ve got to get this off my chest or I feel like….I won’t be accountable for my actions. I have, I guess, an addiction that try as I might, I CAN NOT get over. I try to leave it alone. I try to ignore the deep pangs of….want….that I have when I’m away from it. My fingers actual clutch into fist they ache so bad at times. I silently scream in my head…WHY? WHY this need ... want ... to do THIS of all things. Can someone really be addicted to this very thing that I can not get out of my head, out of my heart, to do???? I am so young yet sooo…aged by it all.

Computer solitaire. I am addicted to computer solitaire. Last night I played it until almost midnight. Midnight, people. And all because I can not WIN!! I’ve played upwards of 100 games and I have only won 6. OH MY GAWD people that is bad. I must beat the computer! I am smarter than the computer….

What is YOUR guilty pleasure....

Help people….I have really got to find a dress or evening gown, whatever.... for military banquets. I’ve missed yet ANOTHER one and I think its time I find one before the next one comes up. I have a strange body shape. NO booty whats so ever, can fit from a size 16-22, the makings of a waist the more weight I lose, and 38-40 c/d chestal region (is chestal a word???). I am a whopping 5’3 on a good day but I still prefer flats at all times…any ideas???
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Have you ever heard of Oktoberfest?? Shells and I were wondering why this year’s events were being celebrated in September this year so we asked a lady who takes part in the festivities every year. She said that its always in September but she didn’t know why exactly so I looked it up….if your interested here’s an explanation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oktoberfest . No, I’m not German but I love the food, the walking through the streets and my boys love to go and have their pictures taken with the cars.
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Okoye’s girlfriends aunt owns a restaurant. For Homecoming, she wanted to reserve a table for them. To come and have dinner. White tablecloths. Candlelight. I’m like wtf???? I agreed to let him go to the Homecoming Dance, I didn’t know I was allowing him to become a super mackdaddy with the assistance of his girlfriends family?! Urgh….
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I’m helping my mom organize her photos…this is huge, trust me. For years, she has kept her photo’s in the sticky back photo albums (gasp!!!! A photographer/scrapbooker night mare) or she keeps them in huge bags. I’ve been ‘borrowing’ quite a few of them to scan and save to my computer. So many memories….fun childhood memories. I’m trying to blog about them but what words can be used to describe bad taste in clothing but hilarious fun filled moments.
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Yesterday, Jalil and I went to go pick Okoye up from conditioning class and on the way home the song Forever by Chris Brown came on…the song reminds me of older music like Xanadu or something…something you would rollerskate to…not rollerBLADE but skate too…I was singing along, had the windows down, wind blowing, sun shinning really enjoying life and then I heard my sons singing right along with me. My first vision was that of the single guys from Saturday Night Live, bopping their heads to some 80’s music but then it was such a warm feeling…we weren’t screaming the tunes, being silly but…just singing in harmony. Love those kinds of moments.

Don't ask me why this layout is jacked up.....

My ex and I are now sharing custody of our dog…I never thought I’d see the day but yesterday, The Ex asked if Miyagi could come over to his house when the boys came over. I said of course but later on, the quietness of the house was…saddening. Why it made me sad, you ask…tons of reasons I’m sure.

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I ran out of deodorant this morning so I grabbed one of the boys’ deodorants out of desperation. What smelled okay before and what smelled alright after I put it on, NOW has me smelling how I am sure Bruce Jenner’s armpits must smell. Bad idea.

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PMS kicked my azz this weekend folks…no lie. L surprised me Friday by showing up. I get a text about quarter til ten..’miss u’. I replied back ‘u just made my day’. To which he replied back ‘really….’ and I said yes. After a few minutes I get ‘call me’. I couldn’t call him right then so I told him to give me a few minutes and I would call him back. When I did he asked what was wrong so I told him and he said ‘u need to relax today’ I told him I couldn’t that we were short on things at work, blah blah blah and then it hit me ‘where are you’. And he gave that deep laugh, that horny laugh he has and I asked him again. ‘In front of your office’. Folks, I have a thing with surprises…I don’t do them. Which makes me a very difficult girlfriend.
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The boys got their cell phones back this weekend. Well really, they went to a game on Friday and to make it easier on me, I gave them their phones to use at the game. I never asked for them back. Anyway, Okoye’s girlfriend’s sister intentionally broke his cell phone. INTENTIONALLY. Did you get that, INTENTIONALLY. So now…he’s really without a phone. They will of course be replacing it. Of course.
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Since all the testosterone was missing out of my life yesterday, my estrogen levels were skyrocketing…I cried over the movie Bruce Almighty, I cleaned EVERYTHING…I mean I dusted, people…I yelled at a couple that were letting their lovely snippysnappy hairball use my front yard as its personal toilet, and I found myself taking pictures of dead caterpillars, yellow leaves and pumpkins in my neighbors yard. Ooops I forgot Ducky was there….okay maybe I just didn’t have my usually level of testosterone…I was this close to borrowing a kid and have him shoot hoops in the back yard just so I could have the phat phat phat sound in my head.
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I love Dolly Parton. She was on Ellen today and she is so cute, friendly and down to Earth yet over the top…this woman had me cracking up from the convo about never being without makeup to the convo about her running for president. Dolly Parton goes to bed with ALL her makeup on when she is in New York or California just because if there is something that happens in the middle of the night and they rush her out of the hotel people won’t say ‘Did you see Dolly??? She looked like hammered snot!!!’ I love that comment and I hate snot but it made me laugh out loud for the first time today. Then Ellen asked her about her fans wanting her to run for president and Dolly threw back her head, laughed and said ‘dontcha think we’ve had enough boobs in the White House????’ Loves it.

I seen coworker/friend at a gas station last night. When I was standing at the pump, pumping my BLOOD and life into my gas tank, this huge Yukon pulled up, too close to me, and laid on the horn. I don’t respond to yells, catcalls, my name being SCREAMED out in public nor do I respond to honks. Anywho, the driver gives up and goes to a parking spot and then I start to worry if I just made a huge mistake because we all know, sometimes idiots can be dangerous. Anyway it was my coworker/friend who I haven’t seen in a minute. We hugged,laughed, talked and she was pretty shocked that I had cut my hair. And I quote ‘girl you know you don’t do hair….’ But she loved it and kept running her fingers in it. I got a HUGE problem with that. Unless you are my hair stylist, I don’t like peoples hands in my hair. Just a thing with me. Not my kids, babies, not my man..well, take that ONE back…I like that but you get my drift…NO HANDS IN MY HAIR!! But it still surprised me that I have NO HAIR ON MY NECK!!!!
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You know those credit card offers you get in the mail? How personal do you take those? A friend of mine who is going through some down times asked if I had any laying around and if so, could she use one to try to apply for a credit card. At first I told her yeah, that soon as I’d get one in the mail I’d let her know. Normally I shred them and throw them away soon as I find them in the mail but okay, yeah. Well, the more I thought about it, I just don’t know. Not that I think she would use my info, nor that she could for that matter but would she destroy it properly and all bunch of other issues bother me. I don’t have the best credit but I’m in the middle of trying to rebuild it and don’t want nothing messing it up.
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Big debate question for the masses....do you believe a cat can steal a babys' breath or soul?

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Happy weekend everybody....

We had our own leftover's from Ike...there is a creek (Wears Creek) that leads to the Missouri River that runs between our parking lots and the office buildings. After all the rain we had from Ike, the Wears Creek over flowed and now there is no parking...

My office is the one in the very far right hand corner...




The Capital is across the street...

What town chooses the 8 ball to be the symbol for their water tower???? Craziness. Do you really want to be BEHIND the 8 ball? Isnt that bad luck?

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We had a fire alarm go off yesterday. Here, a fire alarm can be anything. A bomb threat. Smoke in a vent from the abundant smokers who smoke by our vents leading INTO the damn building. Or maybe even an actual fire. They never tell us what we always hear it that it could have been so and so. Anyway, Shells and I work on the top floor and it used to be mandatory for us to have to walk all the way down to the 1st floor to get out the building. Understand that there are other floors that we can go out of but for some ungodly reason, they had our precious hides going all the way down. Enough of us complained I guess so now we go out on the fourth floor. Going out on the 4th floor…bad idea. BAD IDEA. It seems like pandemonium out there! People just go any which way. Crossing the street on do not cross signals. And then we just hang out in the street for any fool to hit thousands of people. I complained several times while standing out in the sun getting dewy but no one paid me no mind…I must bitch louder next time.
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Last night I was helping my youngest balance his checkbook for his Family Consumer Science Class ( no Home Ec for the politically correct generations) and he was getting frustrated because I wanted him to show his work on another sheet of paper. He kept making small mistakes and it would end up making the whole problem wrong. He finally just put his head to his head and said ‘I’m NOT Okoye!!!’… Its been on my mind ever since about rather or not I’ve been comparing him to his brother. I can remember early EARLY in my life someone very close to me saying ‘how come you cant be like your sister???’. I remember how it felt then and I felt that same feeling of not being enough last night when he said those words.
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Natasha Beddingfield has a song out called ‘Angel’. I really liked it until I seen the video. The song does not match the singer or maybe the video doesn’t match the song. Now when I sing it…I see the same crappy video in my minds eye….Further proof that music videos are overrated.
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I have a guy that works in my department that sits between Shells and I and he’s always trying to cure my diabetes. He see’s and reads things on diabetes and brings it in for me to read or he will write down the name of the author of whatever for me to look it up and read it on line. One day, he seen a study on the effects of cinnamon on glucose levels so he informed me about this so that I could try it out. So every once in awhile for the PAST MONTH he peeks over his cube and says ‘have you tried it’. Well on Monday, I came in and within a few seconds..he peeked over the cubicle wall. ‘did you see what I broughtya???’ Anyway, he brought me a bottle of this sweetner that has on the label ‘use of this product may be hazardous to your health’…yeah….i’m sure gonna try this. ~

6 Unspectactular Things

Tagged by Sonrie...so here are my answers.


1. I can reread the same book 6 times and HAVE reread the same book 6 times AND loved it more and more each time
2. I am most happiest on my couch
3. I love cream soda
4. I am horrible at any mathematics except adding. anything else and it. blows. my. mind.
5. I crave/ love /adore green beans
6. I wish/pray/crave for my peace more than I do money.

So, I now tag:
Shells
Patrice
Kim
Raven...although she's got a little thing like the aftermath of Ike to deal with....
Dooce...what the hell....

Directions:
1. link the person who tagged you
2. mention the rules on your blog
3. list 6 unspectacular things about you
4. tag 6 other bloggers by linking them

Unfortunately...I did NOT get any actual pictures of bicyclist or bikers (which one is it??) but I did take some quick shots of our city preparing for the Tour of Missouri last Friday....

Don't have too much too going on today. Its rainy. Annnnnnnnnnd its the anniversary of my grandmothers death. Its been since 1996 ( yes, I'am aware its the same day Tupac died). Some days its hard. Others I can smile at memories but I still curl up into a ball on my couch and cover up with my green blankie. Today is kinda in the middle. It usually starts hitting me soon as September rolls around. The whole feeling that 'something happens this month....' Once it hits, I hit the lows. I'm named after my grandmother and I lived with my grandmother for a long time. I wonder if she approves of me? I wonder if she would do things different? I wonder if she would try and whoop my azz for things EVEN now ( and she could, trust me). I miss combing her hair. I miss having our talks. I miss her telling me I'm doing something wrong yet I miss her pulling me down to her, holding my face in her hands, giving me a wet kiss on my forehead and saying 'you did good baby'. I miss the eggs she used to make me for breakfast. I miss driving up to her house and her sitting in the yellow chairs outside and she would get that half grin, half smirk on her face and said 'whatcha done did NOW'.

I also remember when she had that second to last stroke and she couldnt even remember my name, BUT she remembered my face. She was living with my parents and most times she would sit in her rocking chair. As I would walk up to the front door I could see her. Staring off into whatever. One hand, curled laying in the pillow on her lap, the other hand curled around the arm rest of the rocking chair. When I opened the door she'd glance towards me, never really directly at me but she'd see enough of me to get that grin on her face and say 'bout time you got here' and I"d lean down, grab her face to kiss HER forehead. Then she'd say no one had combed her hair in days (not true) and I better get to it before it tangled up. My grandmother was black, American Indian and Irish. Her hair had a mind of its own and it took no prisoners. Most days I would brush it with water and vaseline (her concoction that I have NO idea where she came up with it from) until most of the curls were down at her ends and then do a french braid down the back.

She had a series of small strokes and then one day she a stroke that sent her right to the hospital. We all pretty much took shifts to be around her around the clock but since her hospital was near my job, I stopped into see her before work, during lunch and then after work for a couple of hours. One day, when I came to see her after work she had been put on life support. Every breath was a struggle for her. Sad how we make our loved ones struggle to live to make US feel better. All I wanted was her there. I wanted to hold her hand, comb her hair and talk to her like we used to do. We had a meeting and the decision was made to take her off life support and what seemed to be a miracle happened. She was breathing on her own fine. No struggles but soon she started to have....a rattle. We all pretty much lived in that hospital room and soon, clergymen started to stop in...Nuns came by to ask if we needed anything. It was me and my parents sitting with her when my mom had to go for a smoke so her and my dad went outside for a quick minute. I was sitting close beside her and laid my head on the bed. It was my way of sleeping with her like we used to do. I curled my arm under my head and I remember looking down the bed to where her hand was laying so I curled my hands around her curled fingers so it was like we were holding hands and I just closed my eyes. Every few seconds she would have this deep rattle but otherwise it was so quiet except for a couple sounds outside the room and then a couple machines that were still going. I opened my eyes and waited for the raspy rattle and right when I raised my head her monitor started the alarm....

I miss you so much. We argued a lot and so much my teenage years people have told me that you did that because you expected so much out of me. That you wanted the best for all of us grand kids but you expected me to be on top of EVERYTHING. Even when I was kid and I would get into trouble with you were known to say 'SHE knows better' like I was born with some kind of pamphlet of How to Know and Do Better. All I know is your were there when I took my first breath and I was there when you took your last and I will live with that the rest of my life. And for some sick odd twisted reason.... I treasure it.

A friend of mine shared this web site with me....worth mentioning...

9*11*01

I'm sure this is one of those days where 'Do you remember what you were doing when....'

I was already at work. I remember a coworker coming over to my area and said 'a plane just flew into the Trade Center.' She said it so matter of fact it didnt click that it was THE World Trade Center. I said 'what? Are you serious???' and her face was just...shocked. The office buzzed, once the word got around. People turned on tv radios. We clicked on the internet. We all hunted for information and then all of a sudden 'There was two!!!'. I sat down at my desk just to get onto something anything for information. How could someone mistakenly hit Trade Center? How could an accident like that happen.

My phone started ringing and I remeber picking it up. It was Kerry, my ex husband. 'Come home'. I remember sitting there like 'why are you tripping? that is New York. We are here.' He was hysterical almost manic. 'Get my kids and come home NOW or I"m coming to get you'. I sat there. Not fully understanding why he was so...crazy. I started shutting things down as people around me were going from cubicle to cubicle talking. I told someone that I had to go. I dont think I even said why and I dont think anyone even asked me why. I walked out, got on the elevator. When I got to the atrium of the building I ran into my supervisor and told him that my husband was upset and I really needed to get home and I rememer his expression. I wondered if he even heard a word I said. When he put his hand on my shoulder I knew this had thrown everyone's world upside down.

When I got to the school, I told the principal what was going on and she said she understood, no problem. Okoye kept asking why he was going home so soon. He was going to miss lunch and they were having his favorite. Jalil just came on. Probably sensing something was not right and his way of coping is to sit back and watch me. I drove home listening to the radio and kept coming across 'terriorist' 'attacks' 'target'. Surely this HAD to be an accident...I was questioning the very thing I thought was an accident.

When we pulled into the garage, at first I didnt hear anything but then I heard the TV in our bedroom, above the garage. Me and the boys went up the stairs and I remember walking into the room and seeing Kerry sitting on the bed. Not moving. Watching TV. And it was like that for days.

For days we didnt watch anything but news reports. Didnt go anywhere. No work or school. I remember seeing footage of people falling from buildings until they pulled those shots off the air. I remember seeing one building on fire and a plane heading to the other one. I remember countless scenes of smoke. Rubble. Tears. Pain. I remember not leaving the house for a few days. I remember collecting EVERY article I could find (matter of fact, when I had a fire I also had severe smoke damage to my house and several of my articles and magazines were some of the items I made my insurance company restore) I remember thinking we can NOT go on like this. It was like our world revolved on what was going on and what was happening....And that was when I believe that our world changed. Not just as in America but as in OUR world. I dont think my ex husband was ever the same after that.

So much sadness out of hate and distruction. So much pain. Any time I think about it, I still feel pain. I cant imagine how and what the people of New York, Pennsylvania and Washington feel. The family members of thousands of people who were killed, how they dont have unforgiveness taking over their lives. I guess the quote that Mayor Bloomberg said says it best..."Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal." Do you come to a point in you life that all you REALLY want to do is just remember the love that you shared with that person you lost??? How much energy it must steal to continue to hate and blame...how many of us have that spirituality to let it go and let God? I really don't think I do. I pray to God that if put in a similiar situation, He grants me the peace and the strength to do so.

I am a Doomsday advocate. The whole ‘SOMETHING bad is going to happen. I just know it’ kind of girl. Needless to say, it’s not good for me to work at a suicide clinic or depression worksite. My luck, someone would say ‘the world is going to end today’ and I would say ‘you know, the sun DID take longer to raise this morning.’ Yeah, that’d be me. Today is Patriots Day. L has several events planned for the day but that never stops us from calling or texting each other first thing in the morning. When I didn’t get a call by 8, I called him. Nothing. Text….nada. hmmmmm. Office, strait to voicemail. Then I look at the online newspaper for his city, to check out for sure when certain things would start and what do I find….there was an accident. Along the same stretch of highway that he takes into work. Stomach acids seeping as we speak.
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If you work in an office setting, you have SOMEONE who works your nerves, you don’t speak to or just don’t like. And the feeling is mutual? Ever get stuck on the elevator with that person? Man…talk about silence! NO ONE speaks. You hear each other breathing. Separate corners of the ring, I mean elevator. My eyes were on the floor panel as we hit each one, her eyes were fixated on the actually floor. Yeah…fun times indeedy.
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Watched Fashion Rocks or whatever it is, the other night. Fell in LOVE with the English chick Duffy(?)! The way she squealed and did that hand thing like the Beetles…. had me trying it all night. I wasn’t real popular with my boys that night.

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Still no word…I really feel like I could either vomit or beat the crap out of someone right now. I hate being the First Wife of Gloom and Doom. I really do. I know the man is busy right now. I know his schedule. But dammit…this is driving me crazy.

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Now I’m pissed. ‘I’m in a meeting sweetie, lemme call you back’….wtf???? I had all intentions on adding to this all day, being all cute and funny and then posting my end result tonight but right now I swear I could spit damn nails and nail him to the wall.

Today was one of those days where work was not of importance. Flirting, laughing, talking, eating...was. It was a snack day in honor of one of our coworkers turning 40. I had prepared for this day all week by eating as little amounts of carbs as possible. Shells and I floated between each others cubicles chitchatting. Talking/flirting and laughing with Shells and our supervisor, I noticed our supervisor had would HAD to be spinach in his teeth. Seriously. And if I noticed it, Shells had to notice it so I could not really look at her. Do I say anything? Do I let it go? I had this great idea to stare at his lips hoping he would get the picture, but he didnt. He just kept talking more and more.....now with me, THAT trick works. Anytime I'm talking to someone and they start rubbing their nose or looking at my teeth, I instantly try to rub it away or lick 'it' away. ummmm no such luck with that idea. He just kept talking. Finally he said 'oh its 2:30, I have an interview....' oh HELL....but I couldnt get my lips to form the words...'hey, you have something on your teeth.'

I should have said something.

‘They called my supervisor about me….’

I knew he had put his resume out there…but recently he put it out there for positions out of Missouri. But hearing this statement just…urgh..just like now, my stomach acids are seeping as we speak.

I’ve finally allowed myself to love and open up as much as I can possibly do, which isn’t a lot for me. I don’t allow a lot into my life nor open myself up to emotions and feelings. I run from those things. Anything else, I stand firm in my stance and can be demanding, opinionated and over the top but when it comes to love and relationships, urgh…I run to climb under the blankets and cover my head.

He told me this as we drove to Applebee’s and some how I managed to breathe, ask appropriate questions and drive, all at the same time when inwardly, Lord I just wanted to put him out, yell ‘I told you so!!!’ and go home to safety. When we pulled into the parking lot I put my hand on the gear and put it in park and he put his hand on mine and said ‘don’t worry…nothing is definite.’ And then….Hurt & Scared Jakki decided to pook her head up and lawdhamercy….

‘its cool…do what you got to do ‘cause ultimately what do I have to do with any of your decisions??? Nothing. I cant tell you not to go and even if I could you still need to worry about you don’t worry about me…So you go right ahead and do whats best for you…..’ and a host of other isht that even now I cringe at the thought that his ears had to hear it.

We have dated on and off for 5 years. Seriously for 3 of the 5 years. He told me, this weekend, that he felt like I was waiting for Mr. Right to come along and even though my head was screaming YOU ARE MY MR RIGHT’ …the words that came out of my mouth was ‘there is NO such thing. No Mr. Right exist.’ Blunt and cold. Take no prisoners, leave no evidence. Fortunately I love the very essence of this man who understand me and , my issues but…for who long will he do that? It’s like I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. And since I’m posting this, I MUST be out of my mind.

Anywho…I jumped out of the car faster than he could say ‘hey wait a minute’ and headed for the door of Applebee’s. Knowing him and his ways, I slowed up enough for him to catch up and still be able to get the door. When he got to the door, I swear he held for a second like he wanted to cuss me out ( yeahlike he would survive after)…I could feel the tension on him. Once we got in, we ordered drinks and finally were able to talk and act like everything was okay even though we knew it wasn’t.

I very seldom take off from work but I did yesterday for basically some us time. Sit around and watch Cheaters and Maury…the Soap channel. Fluff that we really didn’t have to talk about but we could just have playing in the background and not interfere with whatever thoughts we had. I felt an overwhelming need to prove my love over and over to him. I hated feeling that way. I’m just being honest. I hated feeling like the teenage girl who is desperate to have ‘her boyfriend’ and will give her self to him so that he sticks around. No, I didn’t do that in a sexual way but I gave of myself more than I am comfortable doing and it was simply to remind him of ‘see, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this is what we have…you cant leave this!!’ urgh…I’ve been reduced to a prepubescent 13 year old girl…urgh.

I may be down but nothing will stop me from taking pictures and trying to capture in one still frame important moments of our lives...

My brother Byron and his son Byron Jr...two grown men who can barely speak two words to each other without fighting in one brief moment of friendship...an easy 15 or 20 minutes with peace is so damn good. I hope they realize that everything takes time and 15 or 20 minutes, over time can add up to a lifetime.

My sister Donetta and our great niece Syncere...Syncere's middle name is my sister's middle name, Monay. Syncere is also my niece's, Dominique's daughter...

I can not express the love I have for this photo! This is, in the foreground, Bhrianna (who has my middle name), another one of my great niece's...her dad is Byron Jr and, in the background, Keiona, my niece... simply by love alone....her mother is Christal, who used to date my brother Byron but we liked her so much we decided to keep her around in the family.

This is my chunkster great niece Bhrianna....**sigh** the want for a girl is strong.....

This is my niece Dominique. People, if you dont realize how sometimes our words can cause pain...look at the expression on her face....she was getting a speech from her father about joining the National Guard and no...it wasn't what she wanted to hear....

My brother B, his next to youngest daughter, Angela, his grand daughter Bhrianna, and our mother....

with people having to worry about important things like loved ones and their lives and their life...my preoccupation with self seems selfish....many many prayers go out to people who have to wait this out or have loved ones to worry about too....