Pool Days......Ava Rae and my oldest son....

*bucket list add: to go on a cruise...i love the water. no matter what form its in...showers, pools, waterfalls, gardens, rain, etc...i love it. makes sense to go on a cruise.

* I am in love with sunsets.......

Sleep is not my friend lately so I usually wake up around 1 or 2am. I’m not the type to lay in bed and toss and turn. I only associated my bed with sleep and ummmmm other activities, so if I don’t fall back to sleep, I get up. So last night I got up and watched a movie. Does anyone remember the movie American President? It starred Michael Douglas and Annette Benning and it was about, of course, Michael Douglas playing the President of the United States. Its an old movie, probably from the 90’s. Anywho, I love that movie. I love watching it mainly because I they show scenes of DC and a few years back, I went to DC. But its also a good story. Sorta romance which normally, I’m a kill, whodunit, space alien kinda movie watcher.

* you know, I love old movies. You know, the black and white one’s. How do you classify movies that are old in the sense of say maybe 10 years as compared to OLD movies that are black and white???? Get what I’m saying?? They are not really old movies but they are old movies. Lord….I need a full night sleep.

I was watching the movie, getting all nostalgic. I really want to go visit DC and spend longer than a weekend. I would love to take the boys. The boys love to look at my pictures from them, even though the picture are HORRIBLE. Even though, they still want to go. That is another item for my bucketlist….to take the boys to DC and Baltimore. I want to take them to the Inner Harbor, the Smithsonian, and the underwater Tunnel. Hell just walking around DC can take all day. Yep, a bucketlist wish for sure…

This year has really flown by. It seems like just a month ago it was 4th of July and here it is New Year’s Eve. I’ve had an okay year but thinking back I realize that I really haven’t been living for awhile. I’ve been maintaining and as I said on Adrienne’s blog…just surviving. I don’t want to do that anymore. God didn’t bring me this far for me to just be a bump on the path of life. I hope everyone is with loved ones rather they are family or friends. Or friends that have become family. My heart breaks when I imagine people alone on holidays. I’ve been alone at a holiday and I would never wish that on my worst enemy. Be careful if you are traveling and even if you are home. Sometime’s crazy comes knocking at your door. But most importantly, stay at peace.

*Edit! I am nearly in tears...Jodie...Jodie...JODIE!!! You are so freakin' sweet....

I dont have dreams. I'm not talking the nighttime subconscious variety (although really...I dont have a lot of those either, or at least ones I remember). I'm talking a bucketlist. A list of things I want and desire to do before I die.

I dont have things that I plan to do. I dont have aspirations of fullfilling a want. Most times I dont dwelve that deep into me.

I know I want my children to be happy. I want them to be successful. Most of my 'dreams'...are about my kids. So does those count??

No, according to a couple of friends. Dream are selfish. It hasto be completely about me. Its not a need that NEEDS to be fullfilled...(of which I have many) but a desire to be fullfilled. I dont have those.

When talking (emailing) about this today, in response, I was told, by a friend... 'that makes me very sad'.

And just like that I came up with a dream.

I want to see the Alvin Alley Dance Troupe. Live.

They was a news segment yesterday about the troupe and I felt mesmorized watching them on TV. I"ve seen snippets here and there. But something about watching them on TV did something inside. I felt soulfull things, happy things, ALMOST made me want to learn ballet (yeah right). In thinking about the AADT today, I thought...'I need a bucketlist.'

Do you have a bucketlist?