The Hook Up

I’ve never understood the art of the ‘hook-up’. Not the hook up where you hook up with some for one night but the hook up where someone gives you a lot for close to nothing. Is there etiquette to the hook up? I mean if someone offers it to you…are you obligated to take it? And if you take it, what is your obligation, as the hooked up, to the hooker upper? Are you obligated and what is the realm of your obligation?

This weekend I did a lot of work in the yard. Saturday, after getting a new lawn mower (yeah!!!), the boys and I decided to tackle the yard this weekend. They picked up sticks, dogpoo, cut grass and weed wacked and I cleaned in the house. Took a quick break to visit with friends and family, went to eat lunch and on my way home I stopped by a grocery store that has a garden center behind it. I really just wanted mulch because I had no intentions of planting flowers, container gardens, or herb gardens this year. When I walked into or under the awning a man walked by, talking on his cell phone. When he walked by, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I knew that I was being checked out.

When I got my mulch, he walked up and asked if I needed help loading the mulch which I didn’t need the help but ohhhhh what the hell. As he’s loading up my mulch he asked if there was anything else I needed and when I said ‘nope just the mulch’ he told me to come back at 6 when he was by himself and for a little cash he would ‘hook me up with more stuff’. Hummmm what to do what to do…..

My niece and I headed over about 7:30…yes, I was conflicted. But not that conflicted. Hey, I’m a single mom with raised formal garden beds, stone paths and gazebo’d dreams but living with a sand box garden mulch budget. Before I could even close my door, he was at the gate. He said that I about missed him and gallantly got me a cart for my hook up. I walked around, still indecisive for about 10 minutes he came up to us and was shocked my cart was not loaded up. He kept saying that he didn’t understand ‘anyone else would be loaded up by now!!!’ Well dear, I aint anyone else….I have a host of demons telling me that I’m going to hell for this.

When he started putting stuff in my cart my niece, who understand the beauty of the hook up started running up to water foutains, lawn furniture, and statues…I had to gently remind her that I’m driving a Grand Am…not a f-10 pick up or whatever big trucks are….I tell him that really, the only thing I really want is mulch…by the time we left, I had 8 bags of mulch (+ the 4 from earlier that afternoon) shoved into my trunk, a huge deck container planter, 2 hanging baskets, plants, ornamental grasses, a tomato plant and the wire thingy for a total of 20 bucks.

As he closed my trunk, he put his hand out and said what his name was and asked me mine. I hesitated because, a MILLION things went through my head. I mean lets be honest, this is NOT going anywhere, and is he going to call the cops because I wont give him my name and go out with him and dammitt what is the etiquette here, what does one do to pay the hook up back and I aint going to hell, to jail or out with someone because they just designed my garden well beyond sales prices…..whew…my mind is a terrible thing to waste sometimes.

I did tell him my name and he did NOT ask me out. We chitchatted for a minute and then he said that he really needed to close up and I said ‘you aren’t going to get in any trouble for this, right???’ to which he promised he didn’t do anything to get him in trouble..he only did something to help me out. And it was all good…

Back to my questions….do other people feel quilty getting hooked up? Does the hooked up owe the hooker upper for anything? Are the police coming after me? Was he really interested in me or could he have felt bad for this old lady? Do I worry about stupid things?

Anywho…my yard looks fabulous!!