And the beat goes on...

This is already turning into the day from hell. Started last night when that time of the month decided to make an impromptu visit. Cramps and bitchiness just ooooooozed out of my being. Mom had called yesterday about the funeral home refusing to do anything because there was not a death certificate. Ummm the funeral is like, SATURDAY HELLO!!!!!…. So I call Vital Statistic’s and find out, that sure, you can get a death certificate here for a death in another county so Mz Operator and me are chatting, I’m giving her info because she is nice enough to get it ready for me but when I tell her that the death was about 2 weeks ago, that throws the monkey wrench into plans….

Told mom, we cant get the death certificate because most time VS doesn’t get them for about 4-6 weeks. Doesn’t make a bit of sense to me. Shells told me to call the funeral home to find out what was up and I said ‘I don’t want to get involved’ and she smacked me upside the head with the words ‘your already involved’. Good grief, I am.

Long story short (yeah, a little late) the doctor hadn’t signed the certificate so the funeral home couldn’t do anything with the body until then. My mother called the funeral home and was told that they would cremate the body and hopefully everything would be ready by Saturday morning….WTF? I asked mom, what do they mean ‘be ready???’ She didn’t know and she didn’t think to ask. My mind is trying to wrap around the idea of what does ‘be ready’ mean when someone is being cremated.

Got up this morning and truly abused my dog. Walked down my hallway to the greeting of a few photos, chewed up with bite marks….like the yellow brick road to the wizard or a trail to a pot of gold. Came to my living room and the floor was strung with photos, chewed up photo boxes, and my puppy, trying his damnedest to be cute. I think the steam coming out of my ears let him know he needed to run. If he didn’t realize it, me screaming BAD DOG…BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGG and brandishing my rolled newspaper and spanking his azz…helped him realize it. Lord help me but me aiming and pitching the newspaper at the crack of his azz helped him out too. Animal rights people, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT.

Called my ex and told him that I really needed him to come and check on Miyagi while we were gone so that I would still have a house standing.

I really, really need a piece of bread, some pasta and some sugar.