I have wedding to go to in a couple weeks so last night, I had a moment so I stopped by a store to look around. For some reason, I have this crazy idea to wear a dress so I decided instead of waiting until Thursday night before the Friday evening wedding to go shopping, driving myself and all sales clerks crazy…I would start my crazy ahead of time and take my time driving everyone nuts…

I found a dress and bought it but I’m already thinking…ehhhhhhhh this is not what I want. Its brown and pink, not the summery/springy feel that I imagine my self in. I did see a white/pink floral number and really wanted to try it on but I thought it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear white to a wedding so I didn’t even bother trying it on but it kept calling my name. Anyway, the dress I bought was almost too my ankles so I will need to get some type of heel which…urgh…I ain’t liking the thought of. So you are probably thinking ‘well why in the hell did she get this dress?!’. I have no clue. I will keep it just in case but I’m already feeling the need for my ‘regular’ which is slacks and a blouse.

Since I’ve given myself enough time, I’m sure ( in other words ‘ I am PRAYING) that I find something. I just hope I don’t spend about $500 buying clothes only to return them. I hate returning things but I spend a large part of my time doing that. I do try things on and if I have a smidgen of interest in it, I buy it only to get it home and think….ehhhhhhhhh I don’t like it. I have SUCH a freaky body. I’m 5’2, 5’3 on a good day. I have no booty, have a belly, the remnants’ of a small waist and big boobs. I have short muscular legs so dresses, most times, make me look like a line backer but I’m feeling the need to please since someone loves the way my legs look when I just have on a tee shirt…

Men… the things we do to please them…

I personally think he wants easy access but I digress….

And now we go into the timeless speech of….

Body image

I really don’t mind my weight. Except for the fact that my doctor feels like my diabetes is better regulated at a lower weight, I really wouldn’t try to lose anything. I do however have a huge issue with my belly. I’ve always loved my belly and my belly button. I still like my belly button but my belly gets in the way of clothes shopping. People constantly tell me that I buy clothes that hang instead of accentuate my shape but when I buy my size, it accentuate this huge bulge I’ve got in the front and ya’ll that aint attractive. So…I buy clothes, especially pants and skirts at one or two sizes too big. All because of my belly. I would love to get rid of it and not have it. Yeah…I can do it the old fashion way of diet and exercise but hey I want this to be easy… I love to walk but my hour long walks are strolls where I can enjoy things like BREATHING, NOT SWEATING, ummmm TALKING ON MY CELL. You cant do that when you are trying to work up a sweat to burn calories or belly fat. Well…at least I cant do it.

I’ve always loved being curvy. Even when I was a smaller size, I had curve so being curvy doesn’t bother me at all. Just this freakin’ weight on my belly drives me INSANE!