Don't ask me why this layout is jacked up.....

My ex and I are now sharing custody of our dog…I never thought I’d see the day but yesterday, The Ex asked if Miyagi could come over to his house when the boys came over. I said of course but later on, the quietness of the house was…saddening. Why it made me sad, you ask…tons of reasons I’m sure.

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I ran out of deodorant this morning so I grabbed one of the boys’ deodorants out of desperation. What smelled okay before and what smelled alright after I put it on, NOW has me smelling how I am sure Bruce Jenner’s armpits must smell. Bad idea.

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PMS kicked my azz this weekend folks…no lie. L surprised me Friday by showing up. I get a text about quarter til ten..’miss u’. I replied back ‘u just made my day’. To which he replied back ‘really….’ and I said yes. After a few minutes I get ‘call me’. I couldn’t call him right then so I told him to give me a few minutes and I would call him back. When I did he asked what was wrong so I told him and he said ‘u need to relax today’ I told him I couldn’t that we were short on things at work, blah blah blah and then it hit me ‘where are you’. And he gave that deep laugh, that horny laugh he has and I asked him again. ‘In front of your office’. Folks, I have a thing with surprises…I don’t do them. Which makes me a very difficult girlfriend.
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The boys got their cell phones back this weekend. Well really, they went to a game on Friday and to make it easier on me, I gave them their phones to use at the game. I never asked for them back. Anyway, Okoye’s girlfriend’s sister intentionally broke his cell phone. INTENTIONALLY. Did you get that, INTENTIONALLY. So now…he’s really without a phone. They will of course be replacing it. Of course.
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Since all the testosterone was missing out of my life yesterday, my estrogen levels were skyrocketing…I cried over the movie Bruce Almighty, I cleaned EVERYTHING…I mean I dusted, people…I yelled at a couple that were letting their lovely snippysnappy hairball use my front yard as its personal toilet, and I found myself taking pictures of dead caterpillars, yellow leaves and pumpkins in my neighbors yard. Ooops I forgot Ducky was there….okay maybe I just didn’t have my usually level of testosterone…I was this close to borrowing a kid and have him shoot hoops in the back yard just so I could have the phat phat phat sound in my head.
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I love Dolly Parton. She was on Ellen today and she is so cute, friendly and down to Earth yet over the top…this woman had me cracking up from the convo about never being without makeup to the convo about her running for president. Dolly Parton goes to bed with ALL her makeup on when she is in New York or California just because if there is something that happens in the middle of the night and they rush her out of the hotel people won’t say ‘Did you see Dolly??? She looked like hammered snot!!!’ I love that comment and I hate snot but it made me laugh out loud for the first time today. Then Ellen asked her about her fans wanting her to run for president and Dolly threw back her head, laughed and said ‘dontcha think we’ve had enough boobs in the White House????’ Loves it.