NEWS FLASH…Ava Rae is going to be a big sister…Ava Rae was a surprise AND a blessing considering my niece had had two miscarriages prior to Ava Rae and Ava Rae was not an easy pregnancy for my niece so I pray to God that everything goes okay

ASHAMED…I turned the central air on yesterday…hey! I was crabby and hot…NOT a good combination for a moody sista…

FUN TIMES… so far Okoye wants to go Go-carting and have a bbque for his 16 birthday. I’ve already gotten 3 slabs of ribs, 5 packages of 5 count brats, and 5 family packs of 5-6 count pork steaks. And this is just the tip…I’m sure we will be adding more onto the menu until June 11th

MAD @ MYSELF…for not defrosting the upright freezer before now so I could fit all the meat in it…that ice is so thick I’d have to use a hammer to break it off

I AM NOT GOOD @...giving reassurance to someone for my feelings that they should already know about…although I don’t show it in normal ways…its there. You just have to pay attention

SPOILED BRAT…I will be that when I don’t get my hair done when I want it done…yes, I could do it myself but I do not want too…I might try and have my niece come by and do it for me tonight…

WHY…does my meatloaf come out like a huge crumbling hamburger patty and does not hold its shape??? Soon as you slice the damn thing it crumbles

PROUD…Okoye had already started getting calls about lawn care a few weeks back but I had told him he was going to have to wait until May to start doing it…well he’s gotten a few call from his regular ‘clients’ but he’s gotten two new ones already through word of mouth so I let him do those to ‘pad’ his client base so to speak…gotta love the entrepreneur in him…

SOOTHING…hot cocoa with marshmallows mixed with strong brewed coffee…yummy

IRRITATING…gossiping under the guise of concern…ugliness shines through any and everything

MY TYPE OF CRACK…homestyle cooked green beans…man those bad boys are good

CURIOUS…the new brands of the KY Jelly His and Hers….

OOPS UPSIDE MY HEAD....I just realized I never blogged about Okoye meeting Christian Okoye...here's a photo I got to take...

Ava Rae discovers the outdoors.....

ADORE…absolutely ADORE spring morning sunshine…there is NOTHING else like it. It totally gives me a can do attitude

RIDEIN' SONG... BEAUTIFUL by India.Arie

BLESSED…I went to a visitation yesterday for 3 small children. All under the age of 6. Hold all the children in your life close to your heart…

LIED TOO…whoever said that fiber fills you up…LIED

PISSED…Miyagi pissed on a photo box of pictures…I’m still trying to figure out if it it would be worth it to just pitch the whole box and reorder them all (that is an entire year folks) or go through them one by one and see if there is anything to salvage

READY…to start planting flowers and such. I hate dealing with mud (sometimes I can be girly) and its been so wet lately but, hey…I cant wait any longer

HIGH STATE OF PISSTIVITY… that when I walk into a male dominated area (car garages/mechanics and lumber yards) that I am deemed unimportant. It doesn’t help that I stomp my foot and demand attention…I kid. I did not do that, at least not literally but possibly figuratively

NOSTALGIC… my baby turns 16 in 2 months…where in da hell did all that time go??? It all went by so fast

Easter was WONDERFUL… I cant even put my finger on exactly why.

Maybe it was because there were surprise guests for the planner…guest being two cousins and their families and planner being me. Its always such a ‘pain’ when at the last minute someone calls me and says ‘what are we doing for Easter’ and then expect me to come up with something for all of us to do together. It happens every year for one or two holidays and I’ve decided to just own up and plan all holidays this year. Does that sound presumptuous???? Anywho…when I walked into my parents house a little girl came out of the bathroom struggling with zipping and buttoning her pants and we both just stopped and looked at each other….

ME: hi
Unknown Child in My Childhood Home: hello
Blink
Blink
Blink
ME: do you need help zipping up?
Unknown Child in My Childhood Home: no
Blink
Blink
Blink
ME: do you need help buttoning up?
Unknown Child in My Childhood Home: no
Blink
Blink
ME: honey…who are you?
Unknown Child in My Childhood Home: Kenya
Blink
ME: honey…who is your mama?

Well my cousin came out and everyone thought it was hilarious to put Jakki on edge. From that point on, I had a shadow and the shadows name was Kenya and it was so fun almost cleansing to be around her. I found this little girl snuggling up to me most of the day no matter what and I didn’t realize until I got home how much I needed it.

My grandmothers birthday was Easter also and I felt bad for not getting her flowers. I always put red carnations on her site because that is what she loved. She loved the color red and she loved carnations so…that is what she gets several times a year. Sitting at my mothers table…listening to everyone talking and laughing I felt that little twinge come over me and my mom asked me what was wrong. When I told her she said that everything that had happened was my flowers to her and how much she enjoyed everyone being around and THAT made me feel better because yeah…That is what she loved.

I imagine her sitting in her rocking chair, in the corner of my mother’s dining room, rocking. Rocking back and forth…grinning. Laughing at what so and so said (the convo’s on hair yanking…don’t ask). Yelling at my Dad for the small oven fire (yes, we had one) and not knowing what the hell he was doing. Kissing the little girls on the top of their braids and then yelling at the boys they ‘betta turn that TV down!’. Laughing at the fact that we hid 76 Easter eggs but found 82. So I hope she had a very happy birthday and a wonderful Easter.

Blessings…went in to make sure Okoye was up and out of the bed and with his eyes closed he said ‘love you ma’

Irritation… doing 45 in a 30 mile an hour residential zone and Ms. Slow Poke pulling out in front of me. Its the principal, ya'll

Hotness… Mr Fatigues on a Motorcycle…who knew

Jerk Off’s….Mr Little Red Car Driver Hunting for a Good Parking Spot who hunts in circles for the perfect spot and when he cant find one, pulls out his handicap placard for a spot.

Irritation…OVER exuberant happiness @ 7:32 in the damn morning in the cafeteria. Its 7 in da morning AND I haven’t ate…there is nothing happy about that so WHY should I smile @ your cackling and popping off of the jokes

Beeeeeutifulness…sun rise this morning…Thank you Lord for that one. Now THAT made me smile

Delicious…coffee with hot cocoa…yummy…

Urgh!!! .... cramps

Exploitation…the Octomom having a reality show…can we say ‘pimpin’ the nation’??

Grace…remembering my mom and dad two stepping at the reception Saturday…gives me warm fuzzies

Milestone…Jalil doing the electric slide during the reception Saturday…this kid is growing by leaps and bounds and I thank God for it…

Hilarious/frightening…Okoye taking a grown ass man down to get the garter belt at the reception. It sits proudly on the ball of one of his trophies in his trophy case.

Clarity…I seem to be flying through life instead of living it

Nervous…after watching Fast & Furious Okoye NOW wants to get his permit.