When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared. No, lets call it what it was. I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. I was 24 years old. Already a mother of a 15 month old. Hadn't finished college. And basically a single mom. Kerry and I had broken up and he was talking about moving back to Texas. There were options. Choices. Decisions that I had to make but really...there was only one reality and that was I had to have my baby.



Up until that point, the early stages of pregnacy were... ummm a bitch. I aint going to lie. It seemed like the stress of it all consumed, like, EVERY waking moment of every day. But soon as I decided that it was US, I had the most unnatural relaxing pregnancy known to man. Or Wo-man. I only gained 30 pounds with him even though I had gestational diabetes. No naseau. No achiness. Just....good Lord...dare I say it...joy. When I went into labor, I had no clue I was even IN labor.



I was down at my mom's playing cards with the family, on a Sunday afternoon, when my mom mentioned that I was going to the bathroom a lot. Yeah, I told her, he's pressing against something, I pooh poohed her away and kept right on playing. About an hour later, my mom said 'CALL your doctor. You've went to the bathroom 4 times.' When I stood up to call the doctor I got this horrible spasm in my back and waddled over to her phone. When I got the doctor, he said that I should come in just to check up.



I really didnt want to even do that. I mean, I AM a mother, and I HAVE done this before. I think I would know these things. Ummm no. By the time they checked me, I was dilated to 4 centimeters. It was 6pm when they checked me in. I went through some rough back pains but nothing unbearable. 'Do you want something for pain?' 'umm can I have Advil, I've got back cramps'...'no...no Advil.' 'Okay. Well what do you have?' I"m serious! it was like nothing I have every expierenced before. I had my TV on...Kerry was sitting by the bed, everyonce inawhile they would let a family member bring Okoye back but they didnt want me to get to excited so it was only for a little bit. I even curled up into a ball and went to sleep. Next thing I know it was being awakened..talking about 'lets check you out'. The doctor looked at me and said you are ready to have this baby NOW'. I looked at him like you've got to be kidding and I remember him saying 'I'm not kidding'.



11:41pm. So easy. SO easy. Let me say it again...SO EASY. I panted. I rested. I beared down. His head crowned. I took several deep breathes, beared down and I had YOU. I heard your cry and I felt like...I finally could breathe again. Doctor said 'i dont think i was even needed here!' Everyone laughed and finally they put you into my arms. I swear I wanted to curl up into my own little fetal position. My sun rose in you right then and there and it has never went down.



Now everyone says that mothers cant love one child more than another. I agree. But you love them differently. You understand what, who, and the why of your children and your adjust your life accordingly. Jalil...Jalil has his learning disablities. He had a wall that, for the longest time, I seemed to be the only one to break down or get around but the older he gets the more, he's letting those walls come down brick by brick,he's peeking over those walls and letting others come around that wall and its a wonderful thing to see.



You are turning into a typical teen. Love your basketball. Love your video games. Love your mommie as long as I dont hit your butt where anyone can see. ( 'Not in public MOM!). Love your brother until he 'picks on you'. Loves your pets. Loves your home. Loves your dad. And loves to sleep. Pretty typical but your are still my extraordinary baby and I love YOU. Happy 13th Bday Jalil!!