How could I have such a good weekend and it turn so incredibly fucked up? How, in the laws of the universe does that happen??? My youngest son Jalil’s bday is on the 20th. He wanted big family bbque but since his bday is on a Wednesday and school starts today…we decided to do it on Saturday. Kerry, their dad, came over about 10 Saturday morning and started the grill and bbquing since we were doing a ton of meat. Jalil wanted ribs so Kerry had got two slabs of ribs (one for him and one for us), hot dogs, a brisket, brats, chicken, pork steak and hamburger patties. We were going to open presents about 2 that afternoon (his dad has to work nights so we all wanted to have our own little thing before everyone got there) so we opened presents and then ate ribs for lunch. Oh my gawd…I marinted those things like I was getting paid to do it! They were delicious and tender….makes my mouth water just thinking about it. After we ate, Kerry went home to shower and get ready and we pretty much…passed out until about 4pm which is when I was going to finish doing the sides.

When I was doing my baked beans and potatoes salad, kids started to arrive and I put them out to go into the yard to play and to shoot hoops. I remember smiling at the sound because I do love to have kids over, I love to watch them hang out and be kids for a change. Not tied to a cell phone, xbox, computer or the mall. Just backyard fun. My oldest son, Okoye, turned a boom box on I grabbed my camera to snap pictures. I had Kerry get some more hamburgers and hotdogs for the kids to grab up while they were hanging and he started to grill those as more family members showed up. Kerry’s mom and sister came and pulled up a chair but ended going inside when the kids started having a water fight.

Two of my sisters arrived and then my mom and dad. Its always awkward at first when Kerry and my family mixes together. Our divorce was not messing by any means but it was very painful for both families. My father probably took it the hardest in my family because he had taken to Kerry as if he was his real son. When Kerry was 17, I can remember my dad showing him how to fix cars, build things, fix things. He sometimes was more of a son to my father than my actual brother was. Kerry’s sister took it very hard on his side. She would call and beg me to just stay married to her brother. Just live in the same house and raise the boys. Although there wasn’t anger and animosity between the families, their was, still a lot of pain and after 5 years, there is still pain that we deal with.

I had the kids set up tables in the drive way so that they all could eat outside and then the grown ups ate inside….at one point I seen about 10 kids walking into the backyard and we hurried up and let them know…ummm no…NO free food being given away. Was that mean of me??? Hell nawh….I say. I’d spent 75 bucks on meat alone! After everybody ate Kerry announced it was Fear Factor time. The kids had contest of push ups…laps around the block…..holding breath in bowls of water and then the ultimate….for the squeamish or for those who want to talk about salmonella poisoning….look away or go to the next paragrah….this is your last warning….okay here it goes….I’m serious….okay here it is…Drinking a raw egg. Which, from that point, I realized that doing Fear Factor AFTER we ate, was not a good idea. Even though I didn’t do it…I threw up 3 times which my niece Dominique thought was HILIARIOUS….

For each winner of the events, they won $5. Jalil won 15 bucks. After that, we all just kind of hung out…kids in rooms or outside, adults sitting around here and there…and life…life was excellent….i felt a lot of peace just watching my son smile and interact. This from a boy who did not talk to anyone outside of his brother, his mom and his dad until he turned 6. And even from that point….it was slow in him talking to his teachers or even his cousins, let alone other children. Now, I have to tell him to shut up. Life is good…

I’ll finish up tomorrow…