Most people make New Year’s Resolutions…I’ll stand before the crowd, at the podium, raise my hand and say ‘My name is Jakki…and I too, make New Year’s Resolutions!’ At that time, most of my resolutions are geared more towards the physical outward appearance sort and I usually break those. For some reason, about this time, close to my birthday or close to winter, I start thinking about the inner makings that make me ME.

And I want to change it all

Well not it all but pretty damn close

I start thinking about

Wanting to pray more
Wanting to go back to church
Wanting to forgive
Wanting to share of me more
Wanting to ‘walk’ in love
Wanting to do away with excess.

Wanting to stay away from negativity

I don’t know why that is. My secret fantasy of being a writer would say that…

Autumn is the beginning of the end….the time and moment where things die off…life forces slowly drain all in preparation of the complete silence and death of winter. Ah….winter….the dreaded but necessary completion of the grand circle of life. Because with every death…there IS a beginning. For anything dead, a nutrient is brought to those things that live, causing life to be more substantial than before.

In other words…I think I just want a new beginning. A ‘wipe the slate’ clean kind of thing. Saying it that way doesn’t seem as grand but its true. I go through these areas in time where I just don’t feel….right. Like, there’s a heaviness to my heart and my spirit. I will shake it off for a long time until…I have no choice but to deal with it and right now…I’m in the full throw’s of dealing with it.