The weather this week has left a lot to be desired….rain, lighting, thunder, wind..bleech...
Although my mood is still pretty upbeat and I’ve held onto my peace ( had a few times I had to struggle to hold onto but hold onto I did) I cant help but feel extremely sleepy during this time. Its cold at night…humid during the day ( which is NOT good for my hair…just so you know)… Its all …really in a nustshell…Missouri weather. And after 30 some-odd years…I should be used to it.
But I’m not
Okoye’s job is going well. Twice, he’s been asked to work on his days off. He’s worked only one extra day, the other day the needed him to work he had tutoring so Mama stepped in and said no. But last night he worked until 10 last night…I refrained from busting in on his job and demanding that it was time for my baby to go to bed! I don’t think he would have liked that overly too much but I do have to admit he is making me proud. He’s having some funny moments like “ Mom…how do they expect me to clean my area AND make incoming orders all at the same time!!??’ What??? A job makes you multitask???? Get out of here! Call they authorities RIGHT NOW… he keeps up with his schedule and keeps track of his reports of how many hours he’s worked. So he’s starting to get the hang of things.
Jalil has his 8th graduation dance/party tonight. He has relented and agreed to let me come and embarrass him and take photo’s. Truth be told I would have come ANY way but as long as he thinks he is ALLOWING me too…its all good. He’s pretty excited and ready to eat, hang out and be with his friends. My heart just clutched on me…my baby is growing up. Its hard to believe that in August he will be 15. It’s hard to believe that next fall he will be in high school. Its hard to believe he is getting calls from girls. Its EXTREMELY hard to believe that he has asked me to take him and a girl to a movie. This morning, like every morning, I tell him that I’m leaving, that I love him and have have a good day. And every morning, he stops whatever he is doing, walks downstairs, and raises the garage door for me. All so that I don’t have too. Usually I don’t pay much attention to him until I notice his hand coming under the door, waving, before he closes the door but this morning I watched him. He watches me…why I don’t know. Even as he pulls the door down, his eyes are trained to my car window but this morning our eyes locked as he pulled the door down. He gave me this huge grin, dimples and all and I slammed on the breaks….
He is my life…
He really is…
Both of my boys are, don’t get me wrong
But at that point I felt like…God…I am a mother…ME…am I doing ANY of this right?
Sounds crazy after almost 17 years of BEING a mother but it hit me like a ton of bricks…
Jalil stopped pulling on the door and stood there…this questioning look on his face like ‘what did you forget?’ and then Okoye appeared right behind him and I could see his lips moving but I couldn’t tell what he said…Jalil shrugged his shoulders and they almost headed to the car but I gave a smile and waved. They gave a half hearted wave, smiled and they both pulled the door down. I did not want to cry this early in morning! Lord, people…if I’m like this now, what will I be like when they graduate from high school? From college??? I’ll be a mess, I know. And that worries me, for lots of reasons…
In any case…I hope everyone enjoys their weekend be it rain or shine…busy or lazy…business or adventure…ENJOY and be safe and blessed!
Although my mood is still pretty upbeat and I’ve held onto my peace ( had a few times I had to struggle to hold onto but hold onto I did) I cant help but feel extremely sleepy during this time. Its cold at night…humid during the day ( which is NOT good for my hair…just so you know)… Its all …really in a nustshell…Missouri weather. And after 30 some-odd years…I should be used to it.
But I’m not
Okoye’s job is going well. Twice, he’s been asked to work on his days off. He’s worked only one extra day, the other day the needed him to work he had tutoring so Mama stepped in and said no. But last night he worked until 10 last night…I refrained from busting in on his job and demanding that it was time for my baby to go to bed! I don’t think he would have liked that overly too much but I do have to admit he is making me proud. He’s having some funny moments like “ Mom…how do they expect me to clean my area AND make incoming orders all at the same time!!??’ What??? A job makes you multitask???? Get out of here! Call they authorities RIGHT NOW… he keeps up with his schedule and keeps track of his reports of how many hours he’s worked. So he’s starting to get the hang of things.
Jalil has his 8th graduation dance/party tonight. He has relented and agreed to let me come and embarrass him and take photo’s. Truth be told I would have come ANY way but as long as he thinks he is ALLOWING me too…its all good. He’s pretty excited and ready to eat, hang out and be with his friends. My heart just clutched on me…my baby is growing up. Its hard to believe that in August he will be 15. It’s hard to believe that next fall he will be in high school. Its hard to believe he is getting calls from girls. Its EXTREMELY hard to believe that he has asked me to take him and a girl to a movie. This morning, like every morning, I tell him that I’m leaving, that I love him and have have a good day. And every morning, he stops whatever he is doing, walks downstairs, and raises the garage door for me. All so that I don’t have too. Usually I don’t pay much attention to him until I notice his hand coming under the door, waving, before he closes the door but this morning I watched him. He watches me…why I don’t know. Even as he pulls the door down, his eyes are trained to my car window but this morning our eyes locked as he pulled the door down. He gave me this huge grin, dimples and all and I slammed on the breaks….
He is my life…
He really is…
Both of my boys are, don’t get me wrong
But at that point I felt like…God…I am a mother…ME…am I doing ANY of this right?
Sounds crazy after almost 17 years of BEING a mother but it hit me like a ton of bricks…
Jalil stopped pulling on the door and stood there…this questioning look on his face like ‘what did you forget?’ and then Okoye appeared right behind him and I could see his lips moving but I couldn’t tell what he said…Jalil shrugged his shoulders and they almost headed to the car but I gave a smile and waved. They gave a half hearted wave, smiled and they both pulled the door down. I did not want to cry this early in morning! Lord, people…if I’m like this now, what will I be like when they graduate from high school? From college??? I’ll be a mess, I know. And that worries me, for lots of reasons…
In any case…I hope everyone enjoys their weekend be it rain or shine…busy or lazy…business or adventure…ENJOY and be safe and blessed!
No comments:
Post a Comment