Every year I do this.  I start thinking about it in July...make plans...put up reminders and then bam!  Its November 13th and I remember I was going to take part in  NaBloPoMo.

I've never been able to post every day.  Even from the beginning of when I STARTED...I've never been able to do it.  Rather it be of lack of interesting stuff...or my own privacy issues...or just plain laziness.  Its just...not going to happen.



*


My aunt passed away Saturday night.  It all happened so fast...at one point she was being taken to the hospital because she became dizzy and fell.  Next thing you know....the word cancer is being passed around.  This is the point where I want to be a child and say life's not fair.  When I want to bury my head in the sand and just let this moment pass.  Where I just want to tilt my head back, close my eyes and use one of my most favorite quotes from a movie...

dear god, make me a bird


so i can fly,

far far away from here.

*


I walked today at break to mainly get out of the office and get some sunshine and fresh air.  I love sunshine on my body.  Absolutely love it...but the more I walked, the more I realize that I've gained probably 5 pounds.  Being 5'2...even though there is extra wieght on my body ANYWAY, anytime there is more than what my archless feet are used too...they let me know.  And boy...my arches were screaming at me.  Which reminds me...

I have an appointment with a new doctor on the 26th.  I've been with the same doctor for about 7 years.  My boys and I have went to same one every since I watched how she worked so well with my youngest.  When I seen how much she made him comfortable and how direct she was...we all switched.  And now...she has moved her practice about an hour away.

:-(

It sucks to have to start all over...

I know this is really grainy but I kid you not...I do believe it was raining on just this very edge of the lake....I HAD to get a picture...

*

It is true what they say...giving thanks, feeling blessed and being grateful gives you power.  Uplifts your spirits and just has a way of making you feel...at peace.  I've been doing the 30 Days of November ( on FB )  and here we are on only the 8th day...and I think of things to be thankful for ALL day.  They come to me without prompting and I usually get mad because I've already posted for the day.



There is power in giving thanks....

My Oldest is now looking for a car.  Some one hit his car a couple weeks ago.  He's fine except he is driving his dad's truck and he of course feels inhibited in where he goes and what he does.  As well, he should.  Even though there was only damage to the front drivers side of the car, there was enough frame damage to total the car.  Makes me sad.

It makes me sad because the car he was driving was MY Lil Red Devil... this was my 'new leaf' car.  I purchased the car not to soon after my divorce.  At a time when I felt pretty down and out.  Alone.  Sad and EXTREMELY scared about the future.  This was my 'new leaf' and my begin anew.  At that time I actually remember thinking 'I might not be able to get my husband happy but I SURE can buy my own car.'

PLEASE UNDERSTAND....WHEN I SAID THIS I WAS BROKEN.  B.R.O.K.E.N

I've come a long way since then and the car has become a testament to what I can do and what I am capable of.  Even when I brought a new car in 2009, I still did not give her up.  I kept her so that my son could use her when he had his license and if she had made it...my Youngest son would have used her for a couple of years too.  She epitome's the 'New Leaf' era's.

In any case....we have got a lot of new beginings, new chapter and new era's going on in the household but I feel so UP to the task in tackling them.  And I'm thankful for that  :-)

i am constantly on the phone at work...i get incoming calls as well as handle outcoming calls all day everyday.  first phone call of the day...

I answer the way I usually do...go through the pleasantries...and then a question is asked.  A work related question.  I turn around and ask him for identifying information and as he is looking he asks

Man:  "So how'd you like that election we had???"
Me:  "Sir, we do not comment on political events"
Man:  "  I'm not  taping you...go 'head...tell me."


i decided to answer his question about work instead of  the personal and he jumped right back to it...

Man:  "  I bet your not happy about the election....we spent all that money and he didnt get elected  "

Last year, during November, I noticed people doing the 30- Days of Thankful and I vowed to myself that I would do the next year. And I have.  Granted its only been 5 days but I do intend to stop and take notice of the blessings that I get more often than not...

Is it me or is when you become more aware of blessings, thankfull-ness and being grateful that you notice the petty ish a LOT easier?

Jussayin'

*

Why is it during the colder months I go crazy over cakes, pies and cookies?  Not baking them mind you...EATING them.  Like, all the time eating them.

*


My oldest had a car accident a couple weeks ago....he's fine and it wasnt his fault.  Some kid  ( well...not kid...he was 20 but too me...he's a kid)  hydroplaned and side swiped his car.  That side swiping of the car  TOTALED the car out.  Totaled.  So now we have to get him another vehicle.  Of course he's seeing vision of a red two door sports car in his head.

Puppies just make the world a better place.....

As a mother...I get it.  I get it that when we have kids...we raise them to be independent, self - sufficient, humane adults.  We love them with all our heart.  We protect them.  We encourage them.  We support them. 

and we also feel their pain with them

The moment finally came.  That moment all mother's dread...when their child's heart is broken.  For us, it wasnt a girl that broke his heart but basketball.  Tryouts were this week and he did not make the team.

I knew this time would come.  With Jalil and his disabilities, learning the plays and being reactive on a split second decision,  I knew eventually, he would not be picked.  I prepared for it..at least I thought I did.

I wasnt.

I go from being hurt to totally pissed.

Hurt because my son walked out of the gym, sobbing.  He couldnt understand WHY.  He ran hard.  Never complained.  Never stopped.   Made his layups, did his drills  and blocked like nobodies business.  But he still didnt get picked...didnt make the cut.  Was not WANTED.  Jalil KNOWS his limitations.  He knows that he has to work harder than most to get the siimpliest things.  He does extra credit just to keep his grades up.  He concentrates and stays focused on the task at hand so as not to miss anything.  We have worked hard so that he knows this things...and tries to compensate for them.

but it doesnt always work out for the best.

I'm totally pissed because...these are the same coaches that have worked with Jalil over the past 8 years.  They KNOW what his limitations are BUT they also know how to compensate for him.  They've adjusted for him....they've gotten aggravated (mama's can tell) but they've adjusted because he's good.  I get IT that sports are not about compensating or adjusting. I get it.

Doesnt stop me from wanting to go Terminator Mamma on all on 'em.

Fall is really struggling to decide what she wants to do...

Here lately, we've  were in the 50's and I had to turn on my heat....

A few days later....we had humidity and strong winds.  Tornado type weather...

And no this week...it's a balmy 87 degree's...

Gotta love Missouri weather...