Ava got to go home on Saturday. Friday was probably the worst day. I've never known a doctor to give an IV in the head. My niece called me crying and in the middle of her trying to tell me what was going on she said 'here comes Nana'. My mother. My mother got on the phone and SHE was crying. She said 'Jak, I couldnt do it'. Now for my mother to run out of the room...I just could NOT be there. I think that was one of my weakest moments in my life. I'm the one who buckles down and 'takes the bullet' for myself and everyone else. But the thought of my great niece with an IV needle....in her scalp...I just could not do it.

She does a lot of sleeping now which before she hardly slept at all. 3 to 4 hours a night, TOPS. Since she's been home I'd say in the past 48some-odd hours she's only been awake 3-4 hours. Yesterday we went out there and she woke up long enough to rock for Jalil to pick her up (She loves her Jalil) but once he picked her up, got her to laugh a couple times, her head was nodding back and forth. She still doesnt have to much of an appetitte. Wont take a bottle of milk, but juices she will drink. Not to much food. But she is having dirty diapers. All day Friday she had one dirty diaper.

Whew...I dont know. All this pain and drama for a little baby....I think I might take teenage problems anyday....

*Busy night Monday night and now my hair and makeup are showing the effects. Resolution: GET MORE SLEEP! Anywho…one son had a game 30 minutes away, to which I made it but we left early so that we could make it home for my other son’s practice and a parent meeting. I have to admit I was almost in tears at how tired I felt rushing back home but when I watched Jalil at practice…the boy is glowing on the court. The coach is great and I can tell Jalil really responds to him. Even when its to correct him.


*My great niece Ava is in the hospital :-( She's had a steady fever for several days and they ran test to find out she has an infection in her bloodstream. That sounds very vague, I know but trying to ask my niece what is going on is like pulling teeth. She's 25 so she has the adult version of 'I doitmyself!!!' that 4 years old have. Anyway, I had my camera ( like always) and I got some shots...

Her foot is wrapped up because that is where her IV is at and she's really interested in the IV so they want to keep it out of sight....yeah. she cant see it but what do you do about her being able to feel it??? The other band is because she is on house arrest....i kid i kid i kid....that's so she doesnt get kidnapped.

Her little red lips! She had a fever and she had that 'delirium' talk that babies get when they dont feel well...she just talked and talked and talked...LOL

A few weeks back, our department had new carpet put in our cubicles were torn down. In tearing down the cubicle’s, we had to take a lot of personal items home. I am here, pretty much 5 days a week and did not realize how old some of this stuff was! I have drawings that the boys did in 2001! Of course I had to stock up on the spray that makes items acid free but it was fine for what I wanted to do. I decided to take a page out of Laura’s book and creating a Anytime Anywhere scrapbook. Nothing in chronological order. This is huge for me. My first creation is this. I am so excited for this album….

I took the photo's outside. Since our run-in with the crazy man a few weeks back, all windows are locked up tight with blinds closed. It is hella dark in my house all the time now. This is how the layout goes

Any who...I really felt out of my element doing it but I really am excited about doing random layouts.

sigh....springtime....

A friend of mine lost her job in November. She just called me, trying not to cry while she was in line to apply for food stamps. It hurts. It hurts because she is a lot like me. A single mom. A strong single mom. A strong single mom that a lot of people depend on. She’s raised 3 kids basically on her own. She works two jobs to make ends meet. She takes in people until they get on their feet. She’s a helper and a nurturer and now she is in an area that she doesn’t know how to handle or control. I tell her she is not a failure. That the country is in a recession. That jobs are being cut left and right. But she isn’t hearing that. And I know I would be the same way in her place. When you are used to be the go to person, its hard to go to someone else. To ask for help. To say, I cant do it.

I, like many women, tend to put so much on our own shoulders. We tend to not ask for help. We tend to make do or handle it all. Only when it gets truly bad (and sometimes not even then) do we ask for help or reach out to someone to say ‘hey, I’m hurting’. To admit that…means that the world as we know it is done and over with. And that simply can not be.

Get the hell out of here Gina!!!! Danka Danka Danka....and without further ado....









ONCE YOU'VE BEEN AWARDED, THE RULES ARE:



1. Thank the person who was so thoughful for giving you this award by linking their blog to this post.



2. Put the logo on your blog or post.



3. Nominate 10 blogs which show great attitude/gratitude.



4. Link your nominee to your post.



5. Comment them to tell them about the award they've won.


My four are.....

Jodi

Patrice

Raven

Adrienne

Lisa

Sonrie

A Bit East

K

Shutter Sisters

Perfectly Shelly


When you check these out you will see that halfof them are photography blogs and I picked them because photography shows so much of a person heart, attitude and soul. I love that. Damn...I think I just figured out why I love pictures so much....

Is it Spring???? Man I miss spring....

The Monday following serious holiday-age (holidays grouped together) are always hard to handle. It’s hard on me and its hard on the boys. Really, the boys bounced outta bed this morning pretty good. For some reason that made me grumpier because I am the adult here and I should have joy no matter what but I just couldn’t do it this morning.

Okoye’s getting a little jealous of Jalil. At least that’s what I see it as. A coach called and wanted Jalil to play on a league, which makes this the second coach that’s called. Okoye went through the same thing at Jalil’s age but he’s forgetting that. He went through the coaches wanting to meet him, wanting him to play on teams, and trying to find out what he was about. I reminded Okoye of that and he gave me this look that only teenagers have. The look that borders on ‘What planet do you come from???’ or ‘I WILL NOT ADMIT YOU AR RIGHT!!’ . I think him being shorter than his younger brother is starting to work him. It doesn’t help that when people see them together, grown azz people say ‘Good Lord boy…your shorter than you brother!’ . People! Understand…the teen years are already hard on teens. Don’t add to their angst. That falls into the realm of how would you feel if people seen you they said ‘Good Lord woman have you gained weight since high school?!’. Or something sensitive to you as a person. Aint too cool is it?

I was trying my hardest to sleep in this morning but my butt was up and out of the bed at 7. Urgh...damn body alarm clock! Not like I had a lot PLANNED to do but cleaning and getting laundry done for the week coming up. The boys Christmas vacation is ooooooooooova on Monday YEAH!!!! back to a workable livable schedule. My childhood friend called and we decided to go meet for lunch. Since she lives 45 miles away, I let her decide and she decided on Mexican. I was running late because, of course, I ended up having 10,000 things that just HAD to be done at the last minute. WHY does that always happen? It cant just be me..... fun times was had. She got a lot more of her chest and really, so did I. It was good. One thing that bothered me was she seemed to think that because I am single (not married) I would know where to go out to bars and such. Yeah...I"m a lush and I go out drinking and screwing men....
:-/

I know that isnt what she meant but I always get that feeling from some people, when they give me a nudge and wink when they comment on how fun my life is without a husband anymore... I dont get those comments all the time. Just some times.

Angela and me. Lord, my face is puffy.

You know, I always consider my city small and have never really taken pictures of the 'skyline'. While I was waiting for Okoye to come out of practice I thought it was a pretty nice skyline. It even looks like a bustling city. A little bustling city. Okay, a little town trying to be a little city.

Jalil's eczema is acting up so we went to the doctor on Friday. He's gained 6 pounds and a inch and a half. He's my other gentle giant....He really likes his doctor. When we left he said ' I like her. She's nice but she talks too fast'. Gotta remind of her that. I love her because she talks to both of my boys. Not AT them but to them. She recognizes that they are actually human's which most doctors talk over kids to the parents.

Stay at peace....

New Year's Eve...some shots that made me...sad. It ended my party early....

Jessiah, Angela, Brylie and Syncere.....Angela is my niece...the younger ones are my great niece's and nephews.....Jessiah and Brylie are sister and brother and this is the first time I've seen them in about 9 months even though we all live within 20 minutes of each other. Jessiah is very quiet and withdrawn. Brylie is loud and loves attention. Oh , Jessiah and Brylie are Angela's niece and nephew....

Jessiah again. When he walked in he grabbed my hand and I tell you what we never let go of each other for the rest of the night. Here he's laying down because he didnt feel good. The toy is his and the leaf he found in my living room and he asked if he could have it. When I told him he could he said that it needed to go to sleep on the pillow with him.

Jessiah again. He has the cutest cowlick!! Red curls and a cowlick...But really, I know women who would KILL for those eyelashes....

And these are pictures that made me very happy. Black and white pictures always do.....

Jalil is a Packer fan all the way............

Here he's explaining to me how hard it is to kick a football....like I"m going to let him play football next year.....

As you can see...he kicked the ball almost through the goal....I was shocked my damn self....can you see the ball on the left side of the pole, near the top of it?

I really like this shot of Jalil and his dad...