It stormed last night...which normally I LOVE but when its 3 in the morning, lighting flashing, thunder clapping, a dog whinning at the foot of my bed BEGGING to get in my bed and a cat sitting on my chest with claws OUT...

not liking it so much



Okoye found this photo on my camera and jumped all over me on how unsafe this was...hey...whose the parent here????

waking up late always throws me off....all of us waking up late is the perfect setting for a bad day...

BAD DAY BE GONE!!!!

i hope its that easy....

*my insurance company denied my new medication....can they do that? is it fair? i mean...if a doctor says a patient needs something...who are they to day 'naaaaaaaah...you don't need it' ...are they really qualified for that and if they ARE qualified than WHY arent they doctors??? jusaskin'....

* i'm doing reallllllly good with my diabetes....and its all because of exercise and the right dosage of medicine. like this morning...this morning was most definitely a coffee with sugar morning...so I had my coffee with sugar (yes, real sugar). And it was also a instant oatmeal morning. So i had instant blueberry oatmeal. And because I did those bad things...I took the stairs this morning and I have loaded up on cashews. i just tested my glucose and it is at 130...shouldnt be over 125 but considering a month and a half ago it was 279...its pretty good...

*Okoye got a job! I had my doubts at first because at first, when I asked him what was said at the interview, the words ‘you’re hired!’ was never said. I tried to keep his hopes but also tried to make him understand that it might not happen but it did! So he works at a steak/grill restaurant, making salads, at least for now. Like he said ‘at least it’s a job!’ and with that attitude I can’t complain. His first day was Saturday and he was worn out! he also had to work on Mother’s Day and I tried my best to not show how disappointed I was but secretly deep down…I had a panic attack that this was the first time I had EVER not been with my baby on Mother’s Day…whew…my chest tightens even now.

*My Mother’s Day started with a hospital visit. My niece had to rush my great niece, Ava Rae, to the emergency room Saturday night for drinking 4oz of Benadryl so early Sunday morning I brought my niece a Mother’s Day breakfast of pancakes from McDonalds. Ave Rae is back home but she looked so tiny in the hospital bed! Of course…ya’ll know I got pictures. She was so tired. I got there about 8am and she finally went to sleep about 6 that morning so she was SO knocked out….

*I finally picked the photo’s I wanted to use for my AWinTL project. This was NOT easy. Since I used my timer in a lot of situations I had tons of photo’s. I could have deleted most of them ( I mean c’mon 10 pictures of me fluffing my pillow to get it exactly right IS excessive) but I didn’t want to miss any small detail. I finally settled on the ones I wanted to use and uploaded them and ordered them. I very seldom use my printer at home, at least for photo’s. the boys will use it for their own purposes ( you should see their rooms…every available space has photos SCOTCHED taped to it….) if they want a picture right then but I’d rather send out for them. I’m trying to remember its not about the embellishments or stickers (which I am big on) but more of the journaling…the words telling what could be going on in any given day or week in our lives so its hard but not hard for me. I don’t want to rush through this but to think about and savor what the photos mean so I can express it.

*Oh! Now that Mothers Day has passed I can tell you what my dad did for my mom, LOL Their anniversary was March 31st so what does he do…March 25th he asks me to call around and see about ordering my mom a mother’s ring. You know the one’s with her stone and then the birth stones. Called around and found several places that do it BUT they have a little twist too them…you can have names engraved on the rings. How cool is that! Very cool but….it takes 4-5 weeks for completion. Hmmm not going to work for their anniversary so he decided it would be for Mother’s Day. About a week ago it was complete…GOrgeousssssssssssss….he out did himself with this one! And she loveddddddddd it. Loved it! I love their love for each other and it so VERY special…

*I’ma lil bit upset at my pharmacy and my insurance company. I have been put on a new medication (well I guess I cant say that I’ve been put on it since I have yet to actually TAKE it) that I have been waiting a week to get filled but my pharmacy cant fill it because my insurance company is talking to my doctor on rather I really need it. I guess if I need it..they will pay for it or at least a portion of it…. A week people. A week. Good thing it’s not a life or death situation…

I went with my parents to visit my great aunt ( my dad's aunt) ...we try and visit her at least once a month but since we had gotten word that her health had deteriorated even more...more to the point of needing to be moved to an assisted long term care living facility, we decided to make the trip....

i love my aunt BerthaLee...my aunt BerthaLee and I have a love/hate relationship...she was quick to tell me that I was a Price (my maiden name) and that I was 'too pretty to be so chunky'....a couple times she would like something I was wearing and swear up and down that I 'stole her sh*t' and that I needed to 'take my a$$ upstairs and put it back'...how can I love someone that ornery???


because the first time I went to see her after i had Okoye, she held him and looked at me and told me that she knew i was going to be a good mother 'because souls like yours....are TOO damn special to just keep...they have to be shared so baby you HAD to become a momma'.

Well now she is in the 7th stage of Alzheimer's....the mind can be an amazing thing but it is complex...so very complex.

they say that the brain has to be exercised...that the more it is, the more dementia has a harder time developing; doesnt stop it but slows it down. my aunt was a teacher (yes as gruff as she was) ...matter of fact, her roommate and 3 other patients in her wing ALONE were teachers and they, too , are in the final stage of Alzheimer's...

teaching...ummm you cant get any more exercised than that

its hard to see her...when we first got there Aunt BerthaLee wouldnt look up to us...she would look out of the corner of her eye...by the the time we got ready to leave she was raising her eyes, was more focused....her face had a slight contortion to it but before we left there was almost a...smooth peaceful look....her forehead was so smooth. she even began to 'talk' which...was garbled and very hard to understand but at least she was trying. she loved to hold hands...when we got ready to leave i was crouched down by her feet and i told her that i would be back soon...she grabbed hold to both of my hands really tight and started to bear down...like she was trying to get up...when i laughed and said she couldnt go, I SWEAR ya'll....she threw my hands down almost in... disgust!

Its Mother's Day this weekend...and yes, we should celebrate our mothers every freakin' day of the year but this year....celebrate it even more. i know there are people out there who dont have their mothers any more and some who have a former shell of their mothers with them. my cousin sits with her mother, who is my aunt BerthaLee every day. after working a night shift she goes directly to the home and just sits there, holds her hands and they watch old black and white movies. if my memory of aunt BerthaLee, the way she WAS brings tears to my eyes, I cant IMAGINE what her daughter is going through....

to not be able to ask my mother for advice....to walk with my mother....to not hear my mothers voice...to not hear her say the words 'I love you'....to not hear her laughter....and to wonder if she even recognizes me....no child, young or old, should have to feel that kind of pain...

so if you can...if you are able please do those things with your mother ....laugh with her...talk to her...ask her for advice and t look HER in the eye and just to say 'I love you'

Happy Mother's Day all.....

Love Thursday......

*okay yes...I'm adding this after the fact but its true...I love fighter planes so that counts, right???


can you see it....look really close.....its there....there's a little black dot in the sky....



is it a UFO...say you dont believe in UFO's... you STILL might think....'ummmmmmmmm maybe'

if you do believe in UFOs....you might have thought ET had phoned home and was getting a ride home

or if you are like me and kinda used to being around military bases you JUST.NEVER.KNOW so i have my camera ready....

because you never know what what you might see when you drive in its area....

as it is coming in for landing....

ummmhmmm... life is good...

It is May! I am hoping that adage is true…you know…April showers brings May flowers…

At the beginning of the month I try to get all my calendars to coincide with my datebook calendar. ( yes…I still have a datebook…something about the actual writing of stuff down feels soooo much better to me….) Jalil’s got a lot of stuff going on this month because this is his last year of middle school. We’ve got the fun stuff of parties, ceremonies, trips…good stuff. *sigh* my baby is growing up…

Last week we had his last IEP meeting…to get started on a plan for his freshman year. This time he opted to go for the meeting…usually he doesn’t but I am so glad he did. The counselors and I had originally thought a paraprofessional was not needed but now, we are thinking he does need one. At least for the beginning of the school year. Jalil spoke up…and very politely informed us that he did not want one. That he wanted to try it on his own….there was silence and then everyone looked to me.

Jalil does not handle changes very well…when he was first diagnosed (with not being able TO BE diagnosed….a LONG, hard story for another day) a doctor from the University had already started us in learning behavior modifications to help Jalil succeed. One of those modifications is to prepare him for every little detail that we can. The schools have done a lot in helping with this but I do a lot on the home front as well. Lately, what I’ve started doing is preparing him for the fact that life will and can change on you in a heartbeat and its best to just slow down, stay calm and have the courage to keep on. In this meeting…he did just that and it brought tears to my eyes…

He’s is so strong and he has the courage that took me years to develop.

And I let him know…right there in front of everyone (teenage embarrassment be damned!) how incredibly proud of him I was and how much I loved him. I respected his opinion but I asked him to listen to my opinion. After I gave it to him and the counselors added that the paraprofessional was not going to be glued to his side ALL the time (which I think that was what bothered him) and she would not be there for only him, he ‘relented’ and agreed. Kinda grown up of him I think ….

In any case…the month of May is going to be a rollercoaster and then some so I may be posted several times a day….bare with me, ya’ll….